Haters make us Stronger

How many times has someone given you that look basically saying, "your idea is crazy" or "thatll never happen"? It usually makes us want to work harder but also, gives us reasons to not try and accomplish something.

This has happened far too often in my life. Modeling was one of the biggest. When I began modeling, it was a fluke. My friend had begun doing it herself and the photographer seemed interested in booking me as well. Within a month, I decided to go for it. I began prepping myself for it, unsure of how I would do. I didn't tell anyone but my boyfriend that I had a shoot going on - thats because I took him with me. He took off of work - cause he had a dentist appointment, and drove with me at 5am for the photoshoot. I was pretty nervous. We arrived and met Greg Pascarelli [a nationwide photographer] We slowly eased into the photoshoot, posing on rocks and by the water near the Naval Academy Bridge. We ended up shooting for about 3 hours and grabbed breakfast at Double T Diner.

From then on - I made myself modeling pages/accounts, posted my shoot, and got a flood of emails/offers from various photographers. I joined the gym and got my size 5/7 self down to a 2. I still had curves but I was slim. I worked hard on designing cool outfits, changing out my looks with makeup [Thanks to my then boyfriend who had provided me with support], and began traveling to locations.

Although my potential for becoming a successful model was increasing - the amount of jealousy around me was spiking as well. The friend who had originally begun modeling was in complete envy. She took it to the realms of messaging certain photographers and asking them not to shoot with me. Putting down my looks and body - not realizing how much I had lost and how quickly I was learning about the business.

Soon my sites were blowing up - I had fans making my photos into cool banners/signs and artwork, I was invited to events, offered to be body painted, posed on bikes and wear clothing from various companies. I had also thrown photoshoots onto Facebook for friends/family to view.

Most compliments were great. Others were judgmental or smart ass remarks. It did not bring me down - instead, it made me work harder. I was busy with 3-4 photoshoots a weekend, I had loaded up on Sephora and Mac makeup, and I was working it.

I enjoyed modeling for what it was. A chance to play a role in a captured image. I love photography, I love getting dressed up and I love being in photos. Modeling gave me the opportunity to make new relationships, be proud of who I am and what I look like and realize who really wasn't there for me, but themselves.

I was never told by a photographer I did not have what it takes to be a model - instead I was given compliments on my skintone, my blemish free face, my white eyes [no stress veins], my drive, and so forth. But yet, from the people who mattered - I was told - you wont make it far, you arent meant to be a model, and so on.

Well here's a nice big **** you! Cause I did it. I became an awesome model, I was recognized by various sites, I did over 120 photoshoots, I have over 1000 photos of myself and I made great friends through it. I even made money.

I stopped full time modeling because I stretched myself thin in all my areas of living - family, friends, my boyfriend, school and work. I had put so much time into everything - I was having 24 hour days go by and barely sleep. I was staying in a bad relationship cause I was too busy to realize I needed to get out of it. I was getting bitter/tired cause all I did was watch what I ate and worked out for 2 hours or more a day. I finally gave in - traveled, spent time with friends, made new ones, and kept finding better things.

You can do anything you want to - once you learn to tune out the a__holes.

Always & Forever. - C